New Sick Leave Policy
Sickness: NO EXCUSES! We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof, as we believe, if you are able to go to the doctor, YOU ARE ABLE TO COME TO WORK!
Leave of Absence: (for an operation): We are longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought you may have about needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need ALL the parts you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would be LESS than we bargained for!!
Lost Time: Too much time is being spent in the restroom. In future, we will follow the practice of going to the restroom in alphabetical order. For instance, names beginning with “A” will go from 8 a.m. to 8:05 a.m., “B” will go from 8:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m. and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the time comes again!
Death (other than your own): This is no EXCUSE!! There is nothing you do for them now, we are sure that someone in a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of work is ahead enough to keep the job going during your absence.
Death (Your Own): Only ONCE will this be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two week notice as we feel it it YOUR duty to train someone else on your job!!
We hope you were able to laugh as you read this. We’ll find more items like this for you to enjoy in the near future.
Yours in things that are funny,
Joseph R. Mays